Friday, October 4, 2013

making friends as an adult

It only occured to me recently, how ridiculously difficult it is to make friends as an adult. And I don't mean, those friends you make at work or see regularly through some other avenue... but rather those people who you meet once or only for a brief period of time, and then what? How do you become friends with those people? We aren't in school anymore, I can't offer them half of my recess before asking "do you wanna be friends?". When you meet someone fantastic, how on earth do you become friends without being a weirdo?



And how do you go about maintaining this new found friendship? I can easily go for months without seeing my close friends. We've got years and years of history keeping our friendship going, so when we do finally catch up after a few months, we simply start where we left off and fill each other in on all the inbetween. New friends are a bit different (a lot different actually). You can't exactly make a new friend and then not see them for three months - may as well have never met them. I feel you have to invest a decent amount of time and effort into a new friendship right at the beginning.... and how do you suppose this happens without coming across as a stalker? 


Its been 10 years since I left high school, and my circle of friends has changed a fair bit.... due to time passing by and priorities changing, due to moving away from where I made all these friends in the first place, and due to our lives just moving along a different path. It's not a bad thing I guess, however it does make me feel a little isolated and lonely at times. It would be nice to have a handful of people close by that I click with, that I can catch up with for a drink after work, or a bite to eat on the weekends. Maybe even invite them over for a game of singstar.

8 comments:

  1. I feel the same way, I always watch Winners and Losers and think I wish I had a group of friends like that and often get really upset by the lack of catch ups with my girlfriends.

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  2. This is something I also think about often.
    As an adult, I find it very hard to meet people and make friends, it can be upsetting at times, as I would love someone or a group of girls to go out with and have coffee or dinner or whatever. If I ever got married, I wouldn't have anyone to have in a bridal party. Woe is me, haha. I am quite shy, which I think can come across as unfriendly or snobby.

    Without school or work, trying to meet people is incredibly hard!

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    1. I'm quite shy too, and your right - it does come across as snobby if people don't know your shy. Thats something I've been working on lately - just trying to be more open and friendly to people .. it takes time but I think Im getting better and have started to make new friends which is nice.

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  3. Word.
    Its so hard, isn’t it?
    Its been 10 years since I left high school too, and the only friends I've made since, are either through my partner or through work...
    There is ONE exception. Last year I connected with a girl through my blog. She works just around the corner from me and she's been a huge part in my life ever since. We catch up for coffee's, talk almost daily and we're playing a weekend getaway!
    It IS possible!
    xx

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    Replies
    1. How awesome that she works just around the corner from you! I met someone recently who I think would be an amazing friend, and they live in the same suburb... just working on getting to know them better at this point. Would love to get to the stage where I can just call them up whenever and catch up often as great friends!

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  4. I totally understand where you are coming from, it definitely gets harder the older you get and the more awkward you definitely cant just ask people over for a play date :P I find starting with things like coffee or some sort of exercise, like a walk around the lake is a good start. I also thinks it gets harder as we get older as you think people already have their "friendship groups" and dont want or need more friends - the more the merrier I say. I think I just need to be more confident and put myself out there.

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    1. Totally agree with you Megan!! I've been trying to put myself out there more, and do things that I otherwise wouldn't... and I think its paying off. If I ever come to Canberra - we need to do coffee!

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  5. I miss reading your blog posts :( do you think you'll blog again? xx

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